Even Loving the Pain, Hurts...

FAILING TO FAIL!

  Joseph Brann

              I’ve made the decision to love everything in my life, so, of course, this means I love the pain too! Yet, even loving the pain, hurts…REALLY bad! Though the physical pain’s noticeable to me almost nonstop, I still love it because it’s a part of who I am and I LOVE who I am! You can love who you are too, will YOU? I sure hope so! I feel almost everything in my life is pain, that’s A LOT to love, ha! I don’t currently know of ANY part of my body that I’ve not felt the pain, in. It’s burning, stabbing, lightening shooting through, MANY needles stabbing wherever they want, and more ALL OVER! If you’re wondering, “Joe, have you hurt in 'this area' of your body or…?” 

             I can definitely tell you the answer to have I hurt in any and every part of my body, other than my hair and finger/toenails, is YES! It’s the worst in the most sensitive places. How, or why, would ANYONE decide to love these horrific pains? To answer my own question, it’s because I HAVE TO, the alternative’s NOT an option and when I’ve taken the alternative years ago, EVERYTHING hurts more! I REALLY don’t want YOU to end up like me SO PLEASE be careful?!!! You’re amazing and awesome, but you’re NOT the exception! Please take my word for it, please, oh please? I know I’ve talked about my loneliness and missing the wonderful lady I don’t know but still love SO MUCH, but this is the MOST painful scary thing I don’t want YOU to EVER deal with. I’ve no idea how to put it into words, but these horrible physical pains are NOTHING compared to the loneliness, not being able to reach out and touch her hand, and knowing, when I go to sleep tonight, I’ll do so without her and when I wake up, she’ll still not be here. Yes I was just crying, like a baby, about this last night!

              I figure at least one of my male friends, you know who you are R….., ha, will say I shouldn’t care about this and I’m being a pansy or whatever. Truthfully, it’s funny to me and I’m not worried about it. I’d NEVER want ANYONE to deal with what I do, I still figure others have it worse, but anyone who says I’m being weak or whatever, and, though I’m not comparing my life to anyone else’s, I feel the ONLY way anyone could honestly say this would be if they’ve gone through what I have, then I’ll listen to them try and disrespect me, ha! PLEASE be careful, remember, YOU’re NOT the exception! MAN, I LOVE LIFE, though that means, I love the pain and even loving the pain hurts! Keep your head up, YOU’ll be alright!!! YOU'VE JUST BEEN JOEtivated, ha!!! Until reading my next blog and even after, remember keep FAILING TO FAIL!