FAILING TO FAIL!
Joseph Brann
My lips contact her's and…I’m kissing the air. I reach for her hand and…I once again make contact with the air. My best friend is missing, where is she??? I want her SO badly but, once again, where is she??? She’s in “the air” and the multiple dreams I’ve had of being with her, but then I wake up and…I’m left heartbroken with, you guessed it, the air! I’ve shed SO many tears over the so far nonexistence of the woman I’ve never seen in my life. Yes, sometimes I’m a big baby and an emotional wreck, from my understanding it’s part of the brain damage, but I don’t like it. I do, however, LOVE it!
Now does loving the worst pain I don’t even know how to put into words make me crazy??? Pretty much, yeah! Ha! But, you see I’ve HATED it before and it broke me down. So I decided to love it, be positive, and know that I’m going to meet her, soon hopefully??? It might sound stupid but I’ve said before I LOVE her SO, SO MUCH, but I’m not even positive she exists! But yet, she HAS TO exist, I know it, I NEED her to. Yes, I’m crying while writing, the thought she might not exist is BEYOND terrifying to me! But I’ve got to love it so I don’t go completely crazy! I’ve decided in my blogging, I'll be more vulnerable and'll try and show more of the emotional side of the brain I’m left with. In part I hope this helps YOU to be SO determined to be cautious and make sure you do everything you can so you don’t end up in a situation like mine, or worse!
The thought of YOU ending up like me, or worse, is so terrifying to me! But I'd LOVE to help YOU! I’ve got to do everything I can to help others NOT end up like me. Chapter nine of my memoir is actually titled, “Don’t End Up Like Me!” Not ending up like me is a reference to being the product of a horrible accident, because being like me, the REAL me, isn’t a bad thing! I love the real me, humbly said, he’s AWESOME!!! Ha! So, will I ever meet this spectacular woman I love SO much and fully believe I came back to life for??? I sure hope so, man I sure hope so! But regardless, I’ll keep going, in part because if I don’t, I definitely won’t meet her. I believe she needs me, probably not as bad as I need her, but yet she needs me! I just hope SO incredibly badly it won’t be long until, my lips contact her’s and…we kiss passionately, I reach for her hand and...hold it forever!!! Until reading my next blog and even after, remember keep FAILING TO FAIL!
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