FAILING TO FAIL!
Joseph Brann
20 years ago today at around 5:30pm my reality was changed FOREVER! That’s when I was in the car accident which left me reported braindead and in a spit second, the life I knew was destroyed! It has been a VERY long hard road. Sometimes I want to give up, at least a couple of times I’ve begun trying to give up. But YOU help me keep going and help me to keep searching for the good and positive even when it’s EXTREMELY hard to find! Though I’m not comparing and I believe life’s tough for everyone, I’d NEVER wish my situation on anyone. I’ve cried, I’ve yelled, I’ve punch a wall and a steel safe…I broke my hand then but the safe NEVER messed with me again, ha!
Many, MANY times I just wanted this nightmare to end already! There’s NO WAY I’m strong enough to deal with this stuff, there’s NO WAY this reality can be real, but yet it is. I’ve had so many moments when because of my vision impairments and brain interpreting things differently, I literally couldn’t tell if I was awake or in a horrible nightmare. I’ve had BEYOND horrible nightmares as well! I’ve faced a hell I don’t even almost know how to accurately describe! But, I could face it so I did and I overcame it too! I WON’T give up and I hope YOU won’t either. The anniversary of my accident used to terrify me and I just couldn’t wait for the day to be over with. I’ve begun planning multiple times to kill myself on this day. But, I didn’t, and now I LOVE my life and even this day! The scariest of times make the strongest of people!
Sometimes I still have difficulties believing my reality is real. I’ve been beyond exhausted for 20 years now. I’ve told God too many times that He picked the wrong person and I’m not the guy who can live what He wants me to. I’ve begged and cussed and yelled that He made a mistake and NEEDS to make it all stop! I’ve cried and cried and cried but yet everyday I wake up, my situation is real. I’ve FINALLY overcome all of this and am no longer scared of my life! I hope YOU never have to live a brain damaged reality, but if by chance YOU do end up living one, I’m here to tell you you CAN do it and you CAN still be happy and can overcome anything life throws at you! I beg of you though, PLEASE be careful and PLEASE don’t take for granted the life you’ve been blessed with. DON’T GIVE UP! BELIEVE IN YOURSELF! And PLEASE know NOTHING is impossible and YOU can accomplish ANYTHING and EVERYTHING! This is why I came back to life, this is why I love YOU! KEEP GOING, you’ll get there, much love!!! Until reading my next blog and even after, remember keep FAILING TO FAIL!
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