I'm Not Doing So Great...

FAILING TO FAIL!

Joseph Brann

      I’m only human and some days are harder than others. Right now, I'm not doing so great and don’t feel like the JOEtivator, but I'm not throwing in the towel and giving up, I'm just allowing myself to be human and feel what I feel. Physically it appears allergies are giving me a good bit of trouble but yesterday I had some REALLY strange stuff going on. I know I talk in my memoir about how there’ve been times when I couldn’t tell if I was asleep or awake when I was in fact awake. Last night things got REALLY weird. I knew I was awake but it seemed like I was dreaming. Everything was SO incredibly out of whack and it was no fun to deal with. Right now as I’m typing, when I look at my hands, they kind of seem like they’re made of plastic and it kind of seems like everything’s a cartoon or something and I REALLY can’t think straight. Brain damage is SO weird to deal with and I’m really unsure what’s going on with my brain currently. 

               I’ve decided to blog about this to show YOU that I really am only human and, like I’ve said before, I’m not ALWAYS happy. It’s true I ALWAYS come back to happy but I’m not sure how long it’s going to take me to get out of this mental funk I’m dealing with. This post is NOT negative though. I want YOU to see that it’s okay to be human and it’s okay to not always be happy. I’ve had some other things, disappointments and still having to wait on some other things I can only hope come together, which add to why I’m having trouble finding that “happy place” I love so much but i know I WILL get back to it. Currently, my physical and mental issues are winning the fight as my happy feelings are not shining through. 

      Last night, I was frustrated with God and was even cussing at Him in my mind, it’s okay though, He’s a big man and can handle it, ha! But, since I will ALWAYS be honest with YOU, today I wanted to show how even I face times that my positivity isn’t always victorious against. But, I will get back to happy soon enough and I still know everything will be alright! I hope my showing this side I’ve never blogged about before will further show how even in the toughest and darkest of times, I still fight to be who and what I know I should be and, more importantly, that it’s okay for YOU to be human too. The JOEtivator will be back soon I’m positive and I’ll get back to being him but today I wanted to show how I really am human and don’t pretend to be someone I’m not. Until reading my next blog and even after, remember keep FAILING TO FAIL!

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