O.C.D. Developed in a Coma!

FAILING TO FAIL!

Joseph Brann

      Most people probably know o.c.d. stands for obsessive compulsive disorder. If you’ve read my memoir, you’ll know I’ve suffered from o.c.d. ever since my accident, but I'm not sure you'd know how I believe it started. Yes it’s a result of my brain being damaged, but I believe it was REALLY developed while I was in a coma. I’ve vague recollections of being in a coma and, as I’ve said before, it’s A LOT like sleep paralysis except that making myself breathe loudly won’t get me out of it. I was in a coma for about a week and at times I believe I was mentally awake and my mind was spinning as I was BEYOND terrified and didn’t know what was going on. I believe, while in the terrifying coma, to pass the time, I started thinking of words, letters in words, syllables in words, words in a sentence, and letters in a sentence. Counting these things is how I’d spend my time.

      After I got out of the hospital, for many years I was still suffering from counting these letters and other stuff. I was always trying to see if the number of letters, words, syllables etc…was the same as some of my favorite numbers. This drove me CRAZY!!! After years of not realizing it wasn’t normal, once I realized how annoying and stressful even it was for me to keep counting these things and that even if the numbers were the same as my favorite numbers, so what, it doesn’t change anything, I decided to overcome this. I forced myself to stop counting these things. I realized, just like happiness and positivity, whether I counted these things or not, was my choice. I also realized the numbers made NO difference whatsoever. I don’t know how to explain what an ENORMOUS stress relief it was when I decided to overcome my o.c.d. pertaining to the counting I’ve been talking about today.

      I’ve also decided to overcome my o.c.d. in general and when my mind starts to get obsessed and fixated on anything in an unhealthy stressful manner, I make myself stop being obsessed with it. I know not all o.c.d. is the same and some cases are more difficult to overcome and may require medications. I don’t really take much medication for my o.c.d., I take xanax and, even though that’s more to help me sleep, it’s also a help with my o.c.d. and other similar things I face. I hope YOU don’t have o.c.d. but if you do, I hope you’re able to get the treatment, medication if needed, and anything else to help you overcome it. Even though we may need medication to assist with it, making the decision to work to overcome o.c.d. will DEFINITELY help and I hope you will overcome it! Until reading my next blog and even after, remember keep FAILING TO FAIL!